If a cat sneezes, scratches, licks itself against the grain, or sleeps on it's back with it's mouth turned up, it means that some kind of weather is going to happen. So what if we got together some cats – maybe two or three – we could make them smell some pepper. We could offer them a cozy spot on the couch. We could also try tickling them with a feather to try to make them lick or scratch themselves. The idea behind this would be to create some kind of weather event that no human has ever seen before – never ever recorded in a Farmer's Almanac. We could create some kind of "supurrcell" blended with who-knows-what.
When I was growing up I had a wristwatch with a barometer. I was able to predict the weather without any help from the weatherman. I also had cats. Now if you have a cat, you already know that they sleep for most of the day, they get into trouble when you are trying to sleep, and they can also predict the weather. My cats never told me about the latter. They were more adept at allowing me to live in my house and to making me feed them. I had no clue that they were almost as good as my fancy-pansy wristwatch.
If a cat sneezes, scratches, licks itself against the grain, or sleeps on it's back with it's mouth turned up, it means that some kind of weather is going to happen. So what if we got together some cats – maybe two or three – we could make them smell some pepper. We could offer them a cozy spot on the couch. We could also try tickling them with a feather to try to make them lick or scratch themselves. The idea behind this would be to create some kind of weather event that no human has ever seen before – never ever recorded in a Farmer's Almanac. We could create some kind of "supurrcell" blended with who-knows-what. Shrimp ScampiLet's cut right to it. Food needs no introduction... I actually have a long story attached to shrimp scampi and my first Valentine's Day with my girlfriend. There was an icy mess and a car stuck on the side of the road. There was a rose in a blender. There was cold shrimp scampi. I don't wish to bore you with all the details but we ate the shrimp scampi the day after Valentine's Day and it's still one of my favorite memories/meals. Butternut Squash RavioliButternut squash in general is crazy awesome. But did I mention that one of my Valentine's Day meals consisted of very overpriced butternut squash ravioli? It was to die for, but there were only a few smaller than I had expected, scrumptious raviolis. I'm still torn as to whether this was a good meal or not. It was a good experience, it tasted good, but it just didn't fit the description. However, I highly recommend trying this dish at least one time in your life. SteakI don't eat red meat. But that's just me. Although, I do know plenty of women who love a good steak. And if you pair it with just the right wine, you'll be sure to get a kiss. SushiI do eat sushi. I eat it like it's my job. I love it like it's my soulmate. If you haven't watched the documentary Jiro Dreams Of Sushi, then you should. It might be the minimalism or the tasty combinations of avocado, eel, roe, octopus, cream cheese, peanuts, cucumber, carrots, fish-o-choice, and rice that really gets my sushi juices flowing. It's a wonderful meal for Valentine's Day. Pair it with a small sake and you'll be golden. CalamariCalamari is a perfect side for the lady – or not. The creepy crawlies deserve a chance if you've never had them. They don't slither all the way down. They are rubbery and chewy, but if cooked to perfection, they are crispy and tender. A sprits of lemon will suffice. PizzaPresentation is everything. You can make pizza seem like a four course meal at a five star restaurant if you serve it just right. Sprinkle some oregano on the side of a white plate, use a nice serving peel, and couple it with wine. Pizza will have you two flapping lips all night until you kiss her goodnight or good morning.
The Cardigans - Lovefool I heard "Lovefool" for the first time in second grade. It's my all time personal favorite love song and even until this day it remains super catchy. All-4-One - I Swear I'm almost certain that if you start singing "I Swear" to somebody in their late twenties, they'll instantly start singing with you. Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract The animated cat for the win. Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing
Mr. Gaye just wanted an excuse to talk about making love and he did a great job doing it. Valentine's Day wouldn't be a proper celebration of love without a romantic film. Dudes either sit through them just to get some dinner or because they are actually enjoying the hot, steamy romance. And there's nothing wrong with enjoying a good film. It's totally cool to like The Notebook as long as you are liking it with someone special. Valentine's Day I haven't seen this movie but I hear it's pretty bad. I do recommend it because of the title and because of the cast. Also, it might not sting so badly if you watch it around the real Valentine's Day. You've Got MailI'm a dude, but man, do I love You've Got Mail. It's penned by Nora Ephron and she can really write a story. I remember watching this film in 8th grade and liking it, mostly because of the Internet cool factor. By today's standards, what Tom Hanks is doing in this film (which I won't spoil) would be considered creepy and controversial rather than romantic. The NotebookIf you just so happen to know a girl then you might have heard of this one. That is all. Casablanca How many iconic moments can one movie have? "Here's looking at you kid" and all the romantic montages you can eat are here. There's a depressing love song. There's danger (war). Booze (booze)! Cuddle up next to your significant other and marvel at the gorgeous black and white presentation and the soft, close up shots of two people deeply in love. Forgetting Sarah Marshall You'll probably never forget about Sarah Marshall after watching Jason Segel and Kristen Bell struggle in a love triangle with Russel Brand. Once Mila Kunis is added to the equation, the claws come out. So does someone's junk. Crazy, Stupid, Love.If you've ever struggled with a relationship you might like this one. Crazy, Stupid, Love. won't depress you, however, it might actually make you feel a whole lot better about yourself. I've the pleasure of watching this with a special someone which proves that happy couples can enjoy it too. We also like it because it stars, Michael Scott!
Candy is associated with almost every holiday which kind of makes me wish I invented the next big thing in the sweets industry. But alas, I did not and therefore I'd like to point out some of the best Valentine's Day candy treats that can be shared with loved ones on this special week filled with both romance and depression. Hollow Chocolate RosesThe hollow chocolate rose can be likened to the hollow chocolate Easter bunny, but with far less chocolate and with much more sentimentality. Candy HeartsCandy hearts are the candy corns of Valentine's Day and boy do they pack a few words. They taste like sweet nothings. Candy GramsSometimes it's about what's on the outside and not what's on the inside. Candy grams can be filled with any kind of candy as long as there's a special note on the box that says something important. Box-o-ChocolatesI'll tell you what, a box of chocolates makes living life a lot easier sometimes. If you eat one with your eyes closed, you might not get the exact one you want but it'll be as sweet as life itself. Valentine's Day Themed M&M'sThese pink, red, and white M&M's taste so much better simply because they are not the usual colors. They also do a great job of filling tiny glass bowls at reception desks. Reese's Peanut Butter HeartsReese's does an amazing job during the holidays. In fact, they do some of their best work when they aren't mass producing their standard Reese's PB Cups. Seriously, if you've never tried a holiday-themed Reese's PB Cup, then you're truly missing out. Heart-Shaped Chocolate Marshmallow PeepsAnything that is both chocolate and marshmallow is like anything that is both chocolate and peanut butter. Peeps really nails the combination because they are the marshmallow masters. I'll leave you with a sweet chocolate kiss and a watering mouth. Happy Valentine's Day gift hunting!
By: Alex Zarnoski | @ajazz16 | Crappy Comics Victoria Legrand and Alex Scally are Beach House. They make dream pop so etherial and close to the soul that when you listen to their music, it will literally suck the bad juju out and push the good juju in. On one side of this word sandwich is "Silver Soul" and on the other side is "Wishes," both of which are some of my favorites. But if you really want to get inside my head, I'll recommend my all time favorite: "Zebra." I don't regularly drink coffee. In fact, I don't regularly drink anything that is consumed in mass amounts on a regular basis without doing thorough research. There's a difference between consuming something "beneficial" because it's marketed to us in such a way and consuming something that is truly beneficial because it just plain is. This is where we must consider a fine balance. The simple statement that "coffee is good for you" is enough to drive consumers back for more coffee every single day no matter what else is inside that warm, tasty, and energizing cup. There is a tipping point where consumers order coffee with anything in it because it tastes good but also because it's coffee and "coffee is good for you." You might have heard this before, "I drink it [coffee] because I enjoy it." I'm not saying there's anything wrong with enjoying something because we all enjoy things every so often. We all have to eat too. We have to eat everyday and sometimes we consume the exact same things everyday. Some of those food items we repeatedly consume are also pretty nasty for our health. Everything we put into our bodies shouldn't be done so blindly, even if we hear that it's good for us. The coffee bean, for example, is loaded with antioxidants, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, magnesium, niacin, manganese, and potassium. But coffee as a food product (in some cases) is marketed to us loaded with sugar. A Starbucks Peppermint White Cholocate Moca with Whipped Cream sounds amazing (I'll be right back). But it's also loaded with 95g of sugar, 22g of fat, and 15g of saturated fat. I'm not going to count those calories because that's irrelevant after the first 90 grams of sugar, and I shouldn't have to tell you that sugar is horrible for humans in such large quantities, especially when it's in almost everything (in unhealthy quantities)! Okay, I get it. You drink your caffeinated coffee black. That's a good start. But the caffeine levels do have certain effects on different parts of your body including your adrenal glands. What about the addiction thing? Caffeine itself is classified as a drug for a reason. It does naturally occur in plants but it is also man-made for medicinal purposes. The effects of caffeine can make you jittery and shaky, produce a rapid or uneven heart beat, raise blood pressure, cause headaches, cause dehydration, and cause dependence. I'd stick with decaf. With the leading cause of death in the United States being heart disease, it's good to know that it's not just caused by spreading butter on your toast. The positive and negative effects of caffeine are out there and the articles mentioning both effects can be contradicting. Remember, it's not just caffeine that I'm so worked up about. It's the other additives, flavorings, and unnecessary things that get dumped into our strained coffee beans that make me so crazy. I'll leave you with these images. Ref: Authority Nutrition, Men's Health, Wellness Mama, FDA By: Alex Zarnoski | @ajazz16 | Crappy Comics I originally meant to drum up some rumors with this image. I even pointed out that the man in the left side of the image wasn't checking his compass or reading his beeper but was checking his smartphone... I also wanted to point out that Jerry has less hair and George actually looked the about the same from a distance. Well yeah, the Super Bowl beat me to this post but still, I'd like to share it with you anyway because I ultimately wanted to see this collaboration happen sooner than later. Turns out, we only got to see Jerry, George, and Newman which is better than nothing. The whole point of the commercial was to promote Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" where the full 6 minute episode featuring George Costanza can be found. |
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