21-year old Jasmine Tridevil has been the highlight of the news and tabloids today. The three breasted massage therapist states that she got her third breast for a reality television stunt for which we will probably see within the next year or so.
Today is the big day for the big release of Apple's new product iPhone 6. For those of you who may not know what an iPhone is, it's the obvious number one mobile device in the market. Any other cell phone is just complete total absolute garbage.
By: Chase McDougalburg | @NessKids
Yesterday marks the date for the debut of Katie Couric's clone human no. MV3970332 (aka Meredith Vieira) to start her brand new show. Katie Couric was the once holder of the daily spot on network television for her show called "Katie". The show was described as lighthearted, funny and even emotional at times. Though the show was well produced and had decent ratings, Katie and her producers had some different views of how the show should have been ran, ultimately causing too much conflict for it to go on.
After television producers knew "Katie" wouldn't go on for a 3rd season, they decided to bring in the big guns and hired a team of scientists to make an exact clone of our beloved Katie to host a show just like the last. "Her code name is Meredith", one of the scientists said. "She is the exact same as Katie in every way, but more powerful and unargumentative. She's funnier, more heartfelt and she can even do comedy sketches. Adding the family to her life and brainwashing people into thinking they already know her is the icing on the cake."
To watch "Meredith", check your local listings.
By: Chase McDougalberg
In breaking celebrity news, our beloved Joan Rivers has passed away at the inevident age of 81. Joan Rivers was known to be a funny woman who got plastic surgery to look younger who got plastic surgery. Though she has lived such a long life, no one has any idea that she has lived anywhere past 43.
Doctors say that her last facial expression was a smile because it was their intention before her death. Dr. Benson says, "We were trying to give her the best way to say goodbye to the world."
Viewing services will happen at some point as well as funeral services. Search Google for more details.
By: Chase McDougalburg
In the oncurring events of life not being very fair, life can also be very harsh. At these very hard times, we can only have a celebration of life. R.I.P. Chris. Love always. As the wolves say, "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
By: Charles McHale
In a recent events of social media, I still fucking have Flappy Bird on my phone and you still fucking don't.
9 Life Hacks That are Not Life Hacks Anymore Because Buzzfeed Announced to the World That These Life Hacks are Life Hacks
1. Everybody uses the first bathroom stall now. Use the last one again.
By: Kimberly Dunn | @NessKids
Hi all!! It's been so long! I know some of my ideas haven't gotten through in the past month or so, but that means I have a ton more to share with everyone! Okay, so I know the big weekend is here and we only have an hour to impress our girls, but we have an extra hour if we want to prepare and pregame before the bar!!
BT of NEPA
From 570? How about 57-United States? Not only will we cover the NEPA area of new and hip ways to live, but how everyone in the U.S. and possibly everywhere else in the world can keep up with the trends.
Chief animation artist for NEPA. You'll see his work on the Crappy Comics section of Ajazz.
570 Fashion? 570 fashion!!
570 News, hot off the press.