By: Charles McHale | @NessKids
1. Everybody uses the first bathroom stall now. Use the last one again.
2. Nobody thinks that this is mouthwash anymore. Just bring the bottle of liquor, that's less noticeable now
3. Online websites no longer use gift card debit cards. Throw them off by buying a full subscription to their page on your own credit card. Don't worry, they won't understand
4. Can't drink alcohol on the beach like this anymore
Bring drugs on the beach. That will distract the cops from the alcohol
5. People are expecting red pens to have blue or black in them now. Instead, replace the ink with blood in them. That'll teach the stealers
6. Nobody thinks this is just chapstick. Stuff your money in your ass or vagina. No one will steal one of those
7. Same with suntan lotion bottles. Stuff your keys in your ass or vagina. Lord knows if you're old enough to carry this stuff around as necessities, you're probably loose enough
8. This only works with tea. Not coffee
9. Cookies hate forks. They enjoyed the lift at first, but now the metal annoys them. Hurts their back
By: Charles McHale
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