Hockey is the Only Sport That Doesn't Make Athletes Look Like Giant Pussies

By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

classprojects.kenyan.edu

Studies have recently proven that Hockey is the only sport that is not played by a juvenile herd of whiny, bitchy, moody, drama queen tissue-carrying bridezilla fucking pussies. The sport is described by skating in an ice rink where large sticks are carried by the skaters and used to constantly hit each other and sometimes a "hockey puck" to hit into a goal on each opposing side of the rink. Considering there is an average of only 2 to 3 goals scored by each side, it's a wonder that the rink isn't completely covered in blood and human remains at the end of the game with the added occasional fist fights that happen within the match.

Other sports such as Soccer, Basketball, and Baseball, however, are only played by pansy-picking coward-ass bitches. With NASCAR racers not able to finish they're laps because of a weak ass broken toe or a Basketball player sitting out because of a broken nose only a little pussy bitch would sit out for, Hockey is hands-down a far tougher sport when a player gets his throat slit by an ice skate and wants to finish a game that he clearly isn't going to win with 3 goals behind and 30 seconds left on the clock.

In a similar study, Football is very neutral but still has some pussy-ass emotional bitches from time to time.

By: Chase McDougalburg