By: Chase McDougalburg | @NessKids
craveonentertainment.com Another year of The Oscars has passed by and a whole year awaits for me to get another chance at trying to win the big award... who am I kidding. That ship set sail a long time ago. I don't know why I'm still talking about The Oscars, maybe I really am just that bitter about what happened so long ago. *Sigh* I guess I might as well tell the story.
en.wikipedia.org
I was just turning 29 years old and finally moving out of my movie extras career and becoming a full-fledged leading-role actor. My parents were especially happy because it also meant they wouldn't have to worry about my rent, electric bill or car payments anymore. My extras roles were more than substantial. I've extra'ed in more than 50 films by this time including Cobra, Troll, Troll 2, Howard the Duck, Bad Girls, Highlander, The Delta Force, Revolt, Critters, The Fog, Prince Under the Cherry Moon, Solar Babies, Crossroads, Big, Mannequin, Mannequin 2, The Real Ghostbusters (Not a voice actor, but I looked like one of the drawn characters, pretty sure it was based on me), The Big Easy, Back in School and so many others, and those were only a few of the good ones.
I remember the casting call to Forrest Gump. I was more than excited knowing how smart of a person I was and knowing that I could act as a person with a less-than-average I.Q. with my knowledge capacity. It was a no brainer.
I remember the casting call to Forrest Gump. I was more than excited knowing how smart of a person I was and knowing that I could act as a person with a less-than-average I.Q. with my knowledge capacity. It was a no brainer.
technical.ly (The room looked similar to this)
The waiting room for the audition was freezing, I was never much of a survivalist for cold temperature. There were a few of us in the room at the time, some of the people I recognized were there; some jerk-offs, some okay people. I even remember seeing Tom there (we weren't really friends, but we were civil). "Hey Chase", one of my competitors said. He was one of the okay guys there. "How did you feel about the hidden scene? It's a pretty tough character arch", he mentioned. When I asked him what he was talking about, everyone in the room was laughing. That's when I realized that I was not ready for this "hidden scene" at all.
I scrambled through the script I had remembered somewhat to find that hidden scene. I was only at the audition for one part so it was very possible that I could have overlooked a couple pages here or there (that's the length of a scene by the way). There was nothing. I looked up and everyone was laughing again. They were laughing at me, because I misplaced that part of the movie. I was going to look like a complete fool, but I couldn't let that happen.
I knew I only had an hour left for the audition, so a 20 minute drive home and 20 minute drive back wouldn't hurt as long as I found my misplaced piece of script.
I broke my door down after making perfect time home. The only problem was, I couldn't find the misplaced script. I cursed, ripped shit apart for 10 minutes and then again for another 15 minutes until I realized one extremely, heart-wrenching terrible flaw that I had.
I thought back at the audition, the guy telling me about the hidden scene, the people laughing immediately afterwards. It was all evidence that everyone was afraid that I would wreck them in the auditions if they let me share their script. It was also this time that I realized that I had only had a half-bottle of Jack Daniels left for my ride back to the audition for one more last minute shot.
I got hungry so I stopped for a quick Drive-Thru meal at McDonald's. I still love their nuggets today, they're so delicious.
I scrambled through the script I had remembered somewhat to find that hidden scene. I was only at the audition for one part so it was very possible that I could have overlooked a couple pages here or there (that's the length of a scene by the way). There was nothing. I looked up and everyone was laughing again. They were laughing at me, because I misplaced that part of the movie. I was going to look like a complete fool, but I couldn't let that happen.
I knew I only had an hour left for the audition, so a 20 minute drive home and 20 minute drive back wouldn't hurt as long as I found my misplaced piece of script.
I broke my door down after making perfect time home. The only problem was, I couldn't find the misplaced script. I cursed, ripped shit apart for 10 minutes and then again for another 15 minutes until I realized one extremely, heart-wrenching terrible flaw that I had.
I thought back at the audition, the guy telling me about the hidden scene, the people laughing immediately afterwards. It was all evidence that everyone was afraid that I would wreck them in the auditions if they let me share their script. It was also this time that I realized that I had only had a half-bottle of Jack Daniels left for my ride back to the audition for one more last minute shot.
I got hungry so I stopped for a quick Drive-Thru meal at McDonald's. I still love their nuggets today, they're so delicious.
moderation.tumblr.com
The audition had to be only 10 minutes over by the time I was finished with my meal-on-the-road. I remember a stop-light and looking to the lane just left of me, and I also remember flashing my gun so that the jackass would stay behind and not be in the way. I knew the audition was over, but I still had to have a chance.
I got to my destination and exited the car immediately after I parked it. I took one more swig of Jack and threw the bottle back into the front seat. It was really the only logical reason to keep my composure at the time.
The doors were locked but I didn't mind. When I got into the room that I was waiting in earlier, the same people were there and they were still laughing. "How's that hidden scene coming?", they ask in sync. I told them, "I'm a new man, I'm ready for this audition." In retrospect, I would've said something different at that moment. I certainly couldn't show them up with that statement. I threw up. They stopped laughing. I looked them all in the eye. I threw up again and looked at my vomit. It was a plethora of blood, semen, intestines and a number of other things I couldn't describe. Not only was I sick, but I felt sick just looking at what came out of me. Then I looked back at the people.
I got to my destination and exited the car immediately after I parked it. I took one more swig of Jack and threw the bottle back into the front seat. It was really the only logical reason to keep my composure at the time.
The doors were locked but I didn't mind. When I got into the room that I was waiting in earlier, the same people were there and they were still laughing. "How's that hidden scene coming?", they ask in sync. I told them, "I'm a new man, I'm ready for this audition." In retrospect, I would've said something different at that moment. I certainly couldn't show them up with that statement. I threw up. They stopped laughing. I looked them all in the eye. I threw up again and looked at my vomit. It was a plethora of blood, semen, intestines and a number of other things I couldn't describe. Not only was I sick, but I felt sick just looking at what came out of me. Then I looked back at the people.
bloody-disgusting.com
I pulled my gun out in reaction to such horror. I yelled and screamed, but it was no match for the monsters surrounding me. I didn't want to go out without giving them hell, but hell had given enough to me, so I surrendered.
I don't remember anything else from that day. My last memory was waking up in my parents' house again and them telling me that I should end my acting career. "My audition, it wasn't good?", I asked them. "No.", they replied. "Not at all". If it just weren't for those big shot Hollywood directors and writers back then, maybe I wouldn't be some piece of shit blogger for NEPA.
By: Chase McDougalberg
I don't remember anything else from that day. My last memory was waking up in my parents' house again and them telling me that I should end my acting career. "My audition, it wasn't good?", I asked them. "No.", they replied. "Not at all". If it just weren't for those big shot Hollywood directors and writers back then, maybe I wouldn't be some piece of shit blogger for NEPA.
By: Chase McDougalberg
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