Written by: Kyle Cicilioni | @kylecicilioni
Chocolates? Flowers? Cards with snuggly teddy bears on them? Must be Valentine’s Day. Probably the most overrated “holiday” in existence. If this holiday isn’t making single people feel bad about themselves its making taken people wish they were single (ha, see what I did there?). I’ve spent many Valentine’s Days single (not anymore) and honestly it isn’t all that bad. If you find yourself alone for Valentine’s Day, here are a few rules to follow.
What to do if you are single for Valentine’s Day:
Have a few drinks. It will definitely lighten the load of being alone. But be careful, you do not want to overdo it. There is a line that you shouldn’t cross when drinking alone. The key is to get tipsy, not hammered. Being tipsy will make everything go a little smoother. Having a few drinks every once and awhile to take the edge off is fine. You won’t become an alcoholic...I hope. My personal drink of choice for this situation is any type of whiskey. And of course if you are drinking, don’t drive anywhere you doofus.
Watch something funny. Whether its your favorite comedy movie, TV show, or just silly videos on Youtube, being able to laugh makes this entire process way easier. Not only is laughing great for you, it provides a form of escapism that will keep you from feeling sorry for yourself. Here are a few things I watch to make me feel better: Arrested Development (works every time, guaranteed), Tim and Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!, The Big Lebowski, and anything with Louis C.K. (because I think he is the funniest dude alive).
Play a mind-numbing video game. Everybody plays video games now (mostly thanks to smartphones) and they usually take most of your attention away from whatever else you're doing or thinking. No matter what kind of person you are I GUARANTEE there is a video game that exists that you would fall in love with, even if it is as simple as Angry Birds. Millions of people will spend their day raiding in World of Warcraft, trolling in League of Legends and getting killjoys with a rocket launcher in Halo 4. Join the fun.
Cook a nice meal...or better yet, go out and have somebody else cook it for you! Treat yourself. Why not? You deserve to be happy, so eat what makes you happy. Don’t hold back either! If you want to eat 900 pounds of bacon, do it. No one is going to judge you, and if they are, then they obviously are jealous that you're eating 900 pounds of bacon while they munch on some plants. It’s only one day a year. You have 364 other days a year to worry about your diet. A quick note though, you may want to avoid high class restaurants because you will see lots of couples dining.
Have a few drinks. It will definitely lighten the load of being alone. But be careful, you do not want to overdo it. There is a line that you shouldn’t cross when drinking alone. The key is to get tipsy, not hammered. Being tipsy will make everything go a little smoother. Having a few drinks every once and awhile to take the edge off is fine. You won’t become an alcoholic...I hope. My personal drink of choice for this situation is any type of whiskey. And of course if you are drinking, don’t drive anywhere you doofus.
Watch something funny. Whether its your favorite comedy movie, TV show, or just silly videos on Youtube, being able to laugh makes this entire process way easier. Not only is laughing great for you, it provides a form of escapism that will keep you from feeling sorry for yourself. Here are a few things I watch to make me feel better: Arrested Development (works every time, guaranteed), Tim and Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!, The Big Lebowski, and anything with Louis C.K. (because I think he is the funniest dude alive).
Play a mind-numbing video game. Everybody plays video games now (mostly thanks to smartphones) and they usually take most of your attention away from whatever else you're doing or thinking. No matter what kind of person you are I GUARANTEE there is a video game that exists that you would fall in love with, even if it is as simple as Angry Birds. Millions of people will spend their day raiding in World of Warcraft, trolling in League of Legends and getting killjoys with a rocket launcher in Halo 4. Join the fun.
Cook a nice meal...or better yet, go out and have somebody else cook it for you! Treat yourself. Why not? You deserve to be happy, so eat what makes you happy. Don’t hold back either! If you want to eat 900 pounds of bacon, do it. No one is going to judge you, and if they are, then they obviously are jealous that you're eating 900 pounds of bacon while they munch on some plants. It’s only one day a year. You have 364 other days a year to worry about your diet. A quick note though, you may want to avoid high class restaurants because you will see lots of couples dining.
Man up.
What NOT to do if you are single for Valentine's Day:
Here are a few things to AVOID entirely on Valentine’s Day if you’re single:
Albums by The National or Elliott Smith. You will just end up getting sadder.
Hallmark/Oxygen/ABC Family “love” movies. Not only will their sheer lack of quality make you cry and lose hope for the future of cinema, but it could possibly (not likely) flip on your emotional switch.
Soap operas and reality TV. Enough said.
Cheesy generic romance novels you find at the dollar store. You could probably put 50 Shades of Grey on this list too. You should avoid them because real life isn't like that....at all.
Cliffs and tall buildings. We wouldn’t want you to have an accident and having people think you stooped to a low level.
Internet dating sites. It's not that they are bad, its just that you should probably stay away from them on this day.
Facebook, Twitter and virtually all other forms of social media. All you're going to find on there are couples posting their Valentine’s Day pictures and other single people complaining and whining about how unfair they think their lives are.
Getting completely drunk. I mentioned earlier how there is a line you shouldn’t cross. Getting completely wasted will only make you feel sorry for yourself and start thinking irrationally. If you get really drunk not only will you wake up with a horrible hangover, you will probably have to apologize everyone you drunk texted and your neighbors for all the noise you undoubtedly produced.
Onions. They make you cry anyway.
Make the best of your Valentine’s Day. Don’t drown in your own pity. Hangout with a friend (who also happens to be alone) and enjoy their company. Be creative and spontaneous. It’s only one day, so don’t pretend like its the end of your life. Stop whining and enjoy the time you have, even if you happen to be alone.
Written by: Kyle Cicilioni
Here are a few things to AVOID entirely on Valentine’s Day if you’re single:
Albums by The National or Elliott Smith. You will just end up getting sadder.
Hallmark/Oxygen/ABC Family “love” movies. Not only will their sheer lack of quality make you cry and lose hope for the future of cinema, but it could possibly (not likely) flip on your emotional switch.
Soap operas and reality TV. Enough said.
Cheesy generic romance novels you find at the dollar store. You could probably put 50 Shades of Grey on this list too. You should avoid them because real life isn't like that....at all.
Cliffs and tall buildings. We wouldn’t want you to have an accident and having people think you stooped to a low level.
Internet dating sites. It's not that they are bad, its just that you should probably stay away from them on this day.
Facebook, Twitter and virtually all other forms of social media. All you're going to find on there are couples posting their Valentine’s Day pictures and other single people complaining and whining about how unfair they think their lives are.
Getting completely drunk. I mentioned earlier how there is a line you shouldn’t cross. Getting completely wasted will only make you feel sorry for yourself and start thinking irrationally. If you get really drunk not only will you wake up with a horrible hangover, you will probably have to apologize everyone you drunk texted and your neighbors for all the noise you undoubtedly produced.
Onions. They make you cry anyway.
Make the best of your Valentine’s Day. Don’t drown in your own pity. Hangout with a friend (who also happens to be alone) and enjoy their company. Be creative and spontaneous. It’s only one day, so don’t pretend like its the end of your life. Stop whining and enjoy the time you have, even if you happen to be alone.
Written by: Kyle Cicilioni
