Written by: Charles McHale
Hi Mom! Happy Mother's Day! She's so happy every time I give her something for her other birthday of the year. But it's not her birthday, it's Mother's Day! So what is Mother's Day? Well it's a day of giving, and family, and everyone getting together for the holidays. I'm talking about for Mom and all the Mom's in the entire World. This day is undoubtedly the busiest day of the year for most restaurants, and that's no bull. Here are a couple things I like to do for Mom on that special day of the year, and maybe they'll become your tradition as well!
Surprise!
Ah yes, the element of surprise. What better way to let your Mother see your appreciation more than giving her an unexpected gift? There's plenty of ways to go about doing this, and my favorite is the ole' spaghetti trick. While some people do the fake bloody thumb in the bouquet of roses or the fake dog poop in her salad, the ole' spaghetti trick is right up my alley. The first thing to do (obviously) is to boil up some Italian pasta (your choice) and put it in a bowl with tomato sauce on it. Here's where the trick comes into play. Make sure it's morning when this dish is prepared and tell your Mother you made breakfast in bed for her. French Toast, bacon and fresh squeezed orange juice are waiting right there for her on the kitchen table. These are all the things we anticipate her for. When she sees it's just a bowl of spaghetti, she'll be like "whaaaaa"? Is she surprised? Oh, hell yes. Happy Mother's Day!!
Let's Eat Out?
As I was saying before, Mother's Day is the busiest day all year for most restaurants. But where do we take Mom without breaking the bank? Of course, we want to spend every last penny on Mom to really show her our appreciation, but we also don't want her to be upset with you for spending too much money. My first pick is usually McDonald's, but sometimes it's way too busy on Mother's Day. I'll usually go somewhere else if the line is too long, like Burger King, or even the other McDonald's down the street. And even if the line is too long inside at all three of these places, who says the drive-thru is a bad idea? For Mother's Day, I always say, the faster the better! Delicious.
Eat Out At Home
Dinner at home anyone? Who wants to deal with the hassle of being out on the road anyway? It's going to be crowded at the restaurant, and no one wants to deal with all the other bitchy Moms. So yes, dinner at home all day long Mom! But remember to prepare earlier in the meantime for this so we don't have to deal with the same hassle that we would be if we were at a restaurant (the grocery stores are going to be packed!!). Best time to hit the grocery store is months beforehand so that we are well prepared and don't have to worry about that nuisance of shopping for groceries on Mother's Day. Try going around mid-end December, this way we know we're ready for that big Mother's Day moment. Though it's good to be well prepared for Mother's Day as we're saying, how will we find food that's ready for at least 6 months? Will we have to break the bank to keep stuff fresh for that long? Well yes, it will be expensive to buy a Cryo Vacuum, but by then she won't even remember that it was bought so long ago. So we seal up some steaks, chickens and a couple of hash browns and we'll be ready for a Beefaroni casserole. Scientists say that Chef Boyardee's Beefaroni can last up to two years. iFact says, "That's enough to feed an army". Mom say's, "that's a spicy meatball!".
Alone Time? With Husband?
"Okay honey, alone time. I'm gonna rock your world. Sit down, and hear my heart beat against yours, ooooooohhhhhhhh". Obviously, that's what we'd expect a Mother to want to say to their husband 24/7 (to me it sounds like 24/7/365, lol). But how does she get to that point with the kids and the paper work? Sheesh, call me a lawyer for a day anyone? Haha, just kidding. But seriously, how do we get the kids out of the way for a romantic Mother's Day evening? Have them play car? Or even have them play they're favorite Miley Cyrus character for a couple years? Nope. The best solution is an easy solution. Grandma always loves to see the kids, so bring the whole batch over! She has the 12 kids. Mom has the upper glove (pun intended). Who has the next move? Enchante? Mom.
Let Her Sleep!
Sometimes Mom is tired. 15% of Mother's say they want to catch up on sleep more than anything for Mother's Day. I say, nope! Scientists say that 1890% of the time we can't catch up to sleep, so it's just time to continue activity! Wake her up! And show her what a day of softball and checkers is like for everyone!!
So what's a Good Mother's Day?
Well I don't know about you, but I like to pour a glass of Vodka, and roll a huge Joint and say, "this was a time to do this today... Mrs. President".
Written by: Charles McHale
Written by: Charles McHale
