So yes, this bar is a great bar for the first time trying it. But when I eat it now, it just seems like too much. There's not enough of a balance among the three flavors in the bar. It's got milk chocolate, check. Caramel, check. Nougat, check. All three of these flavors are great, but they're all so similar in taste that the three of them together almost mesh together as one. Plus they're all so similarly sweet, more than one bite to a rotting mouth can make it shatter. Even the color of the inside of the bar is anything but tri.
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Milky Way Simply Caramel can completely go fuck itself. This candy bar is garbage through and through. It sucks so bad, I have no idea how this idea got further than it's Halloween release that it had for that year. I think it was released for Halloween? I'm probably wrong but I could give a shit less to check my facts on it.
This all goes back to the variety and color in the candy. "Well caramel smidgens work fine and they're only cara-" Yeah no shit fuck face, because they're bite sized. And who buys caramel smidgens!? The only Smidgen I ever heard anyone freak out about is the peanut butter. "Well Reese's works as a candy bar and it's all peanut butt-" and no shit again, it's split up into two. But really, It doesn't seem like such an impossible feat when you feel like you can save one for later.
Don't forget that Simply Caramel is a whole candy bar long. First bite, "wow that's really good". Second bite, "whoah that's a lot of caramel". 3rd bite *diabetic coma*. Worst of all, if you don't want to finish it, it feels like a waste to just throw it out. And don't fucking cover half the bar with the rest of the wrapper, be a man and finish you're fucking candy.
If you're in the mood for Milky Way and only want the caramel part, just simply get the bites. At least you don't feel obligated to eat the whole bag even though you probably will. Fucking fatass.
As I was saying before about the original Milky Way, there are the three flavors that are barely even a trifecta. There's chocolate, nougat and caramel. But these flavors are all so sweet and similar that they all taste so similarly exact, especially since the nougat is chocolate nougat. This is exactly why Midnight Dark is so genius. It has the same exact qualities as the original Milky Way, but it's dark chocolate, vanilla nougat and caramel. All flavors so vastly different in taste, it makes a perfect combination for a perfect candy bar. A candy bar that's so good you don't only feel not obligated to eat the bar without a problem, but you can't wait for the next time you see it at your next gas station. At that very gas station you're even thinking, 'where is the Milky Way Dark? I might buy one today'. That is if you acquire the right taste for it.
So why is this taste worth acquiring? And why do the flavors work so well together? It's almost like the "Salty Sweet" combination people are always raving about. Semi-sweet (dark) and sweet (caramel) make a pretty good combination. What can make that combination better? Fucking vanilla. Because vanilla is so profoundly contrasted from the other two flavors, adding it makes an ultimate trifecta. To top it off, the color says everything.
By: Charles McHale