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Why Your Girlfriend Should Fill Out Your Next Bracket

4/3/2013

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Written by: John Lund | @lundinbridge
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Now that the dust has finally settled on the mayhem that is March Madness, and the smoke has finally cleared from your burnt bracket, let's take a look at how you've fared thus far. You started off with uncertainty, since no team had really separated itself from the pack as an overall favorite to win. You listened intently to college basketball experts' analysis and opinions of which teams would come out on top. You filled out your brackets with confidence, painstakingly reviewing records and statistics until you thought you were good enough to be on ESPN. You even took a half day from work just so you could sit in front of your big screen TV and watch all the opening games. You were confident. You were going to win your office pool. You were wrong.

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You may have survived Day One remotely unscathed, but your bracket slowly began to crumble right before your eyes. The upsets you thought were in the bag weren't, while your Elite Eight shoo-ins turned into shoo-outs (yeah I just did that). By the end of the week, crumbled up brackets littered your floor, and a half-empty bottle of Jack was the only thing going for you. You felt defeated. It was over. You thought you had it all figured out, but you were wrong. Which is why you should have had your girlfriend fill out your bracket.

Now before you start attacking me about women equality and so forth, there's no way you could look me in the eye with a straight face and say that the majority of women know more about college basketball than men. That would be like saying men know more about one of those stupid wedding shows or extreme makeover whatever edition they're on now. Generally speaking, a guy knows more about sports than his girlfriend would.

So I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you know more about college basketball than your girlfriend does. Congratulations. But the the beauty about the NCAA tournament is that sometimes its so unpredictable that it doesn't matter how many games you've watched or what statistics you know; upsets happen and you need to be extraordinarily lucky to figure them out. So much so that if you had Wichita St. in this year's Final Four I'll stop writing this and promise to name my first-born son in your honor.

You'll notice I'm still typing though because most likely you did not. On the off chance that someone is actually reading this who did pick them to get this far, I'm honored that this article has gone viral. Since the odds of that are slim to none, let's just say that I'm still right in assuming you had them losing in say the second round.

So, how can you increase your chances in picking what team will be this year's Cinderella story? Swallow your bracketology pride, and ask your girlfriend. Now sure, her picks may be based on her favorite mascots, which player or coach she thinks is attractive or by what uniforms have the best color combinations, but that ideology may be all that you need for bragging rights in your next office pool. That's not to say that you shouldn't use at least some common judgement while filling out your bracket. You know that a #16 seed has never beaten a #1 seed and so forth. Maybe she won't even pick any upsets, but if she likes Florida Gulf Coast because of the kid in dreadlocks, you may not be in the wrong to take her advice. Just be sure to split your winnings, or you may be in for a long weekend marathon of Say Yes To the Dress.

Written by: John Lund

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