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5 of the Best Food Products Ever

2/25/2014

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By: Charles McHale | @NessKids
Pictureseriouseats.com
If there's anything we might be missing out on in life, it's other things that we can be eating that we don't know about. Sushi, Ostrich Meat and Beef Tar-Tar are all delicacies that we know are within an expensive arms reach, but we've known of these foods for literally thousands of years. So what can there be that we're missing out on you may ask?


1. Sylvester Stallone Pudding

Picture
stallonezone.com
Who needs a Snack Pack when you have Sylvester Stallone Pudding? I've never tried it before, but apparently it's a good source for protein. I imagine it tastes like pigs blood, protein supplement, beef gravy, turkey gravy and semen. Oh, and chocolate, because all pudding has to have chocolate in it.

2. Vegetable Jell-O

Picture
thesocietypages.org
One thing I hate about dinner is waiting for dessert, so why don't we just compare the two? This Jell-O product was released in the 1960s as a side dish to go with your meat biscuits and potato pancakes. If the product were still out today, the Celery flavor would probably be amazing in a Hot-Wing Hoagie, or even in Chicken Soup. I would even eat it with peanut butter as a mid-day snack if I was so daring.

3. Canned Whole Chicken

Picture
gizmodo.com
Chicken on-the-go? How about Chicken in-a-can on-the-go? Nope? How about whole-chicken in-a-can on-the-go fully-cooked no-joke? You heard it right. I know we have fast food which is around every corner, but how do you know what you're getting when you order your favorite chicken food item? With Chicken in a Can, not only is it fast, but you can also see exactly what the chicken looks like before you eat it.

4. Cheetos Lip Balm

Picture
brucemctague.com
I love Cheetos, but really, there's only so much time in between my three bags of Cheetos a day before I have a serious hankering. This lip balm should help.

5. The McDonald's McLobster

Picture
businessinsider.com
There are a million things I would like to see at McDonald's, seriously. The McParm, The McStick, The McBloodPudding, The McChip, The McCabbage, The McTso, The McMouse, The McPine, The McSushi, The McCandle, The McSghetti with McBalls, The McYogurt Hoagie, The McOlive, The McSalad Fried Fries, Can of Tuna Fish, don't get me started. Even though I still have yet to seeing these products on the menu, one item that I do see on a seasonal basis is the McLobster. If you're a fast food CEO and you don't have Lobster on your menu, you obviously don't have the top notch food you think you have. This product is hands down, the best food item I've ever seen.

By: Charles McHale
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