By: Kimberly Dunn | @NessKids

Ladies: wedding season is coming, and the only thing you can do is save yourself from disaster. That doesn't sound so easy? Well it really isn't when you try to think of everything you can do to prevent that disaster. I'm going to give you three easy things to remember for your wedding and each one will make the ceremony move swimmingly: 1. Fashion 2. Fashion 3. Fashion.

By: Peter Gilroy | @NessKids

Grenadine, Moonshine, Potato Vodka. Hey, we heard it all. There are enough smart people in this world to make the next breakthrough in any invention, but only a select few of those people are Irish, or Russian or something, to make the next alcohol breakthrough. Don't get me wrong, I'm right there with the public. I'll take a heavy drink or 10 any day (and I have in my day), but what's the next step of having that 10 drinks in 10 minutes to 10 seconds? That's right, powdered alcohol.

I can't wait to get my hands on this stuff. This is going to be so much fun for the next couple days. Palcohol. I wonder where I can order it? I could take it to the bar with me and no one would even know about it. I'll buy a beer, and I'll be the life of the party in minutes. People won't know what hit them. I won't even know what hit me.

It makes you wonder, though, is our youth completely out of touch of the real world of drinking? I don't think they'll appreciate the "buying the next round" ritual as much as the kids 5 years ago did. The conversations will go from "let's get a drink" to "let's kill ourselves" in only seconds rather than hours. There's a lot of fun that can happen within those hours before the suicidal thoughts and whatnot come about. Whatever, I'm letting loose when I find this stuff. Don't tell dear Paula!!

By: Peter Gilroy

By: Peter Gilroy | @NessKids

As we all know since a week ago, Letterman is scheduled to leave his position as a late night host in around a year from now. An abundance of questions have been overflowing the tabloids and social media feeds for the past 7 days asking, "who's gonna do it?". Questions no more, for we have our answer just today. Stephen Colbert?

By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

One of the most subtle and down to earth celebrities has finally cut loose. Kim Kardashian, star of insanely nauseating reality show Meet the Kardashians, bares to bare almost everything for the first time ever in her career. If you thought she was always the type to eat mainly caviar for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you're in for a rude awakening. While most other celebrity names such as Megan Fox, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba are getting their slut strut on, Kim Kardashian finally surrenders her prude and unveils her freakishly enormous ass exclusively to the public.

"That's a whole lot of ass!", local man DeShawn O'Malley says as he feverishly scans the photograph of Kim sitting at the edge of the boat with everything she owns hanging out. He continued, "Nevermind the spiral ham, I'll take that fat ass to go with my gravy and mashed potatoes this Easter dinner with a side of extra everything". Not everyone shares the same feelings, though.

Tracey Silvio says, "This is unlike her. I've been following her since day one, and not once has she stooped down to this level. I mean, she has a great ass and everything, but she has more class than this. I think she's just doing this for the whole "publicity" thing or even just looking for attention only today in this time of her life."

But why only today does she do this? What are her next projects in her life? The real questions are, will this be a one-time fling of eroticism from Kim? Will she continue her life in her innocence? Will she turn out to be some narcissistic, conceited woman that no one in the world knows about? Only time will tell.

By: Chase McDougalberg

By: Peter Gilroy | @NessKids

One of my favorite, almost unknown, holidays of the year is upon us today. No Housework Day is here and I'm celebrating like never before, and it's in this weeks edition of Entertainment 570.

There isn't really any origin to the holiday or where it really came from, also makes you wonder why the date is when it is considering we have spring cleaning coming right around the corner. Maybe it's a day to get mentally prepared for the hell we will be experiencing for that big cleaning day. 

To put it short, it's almost another way of calling it "opposite" day. In other words, if you do chores around the house, take the day off and let someone else do them. If you don't do any chores, however, you must take those responsibilities so you can show appreciation to the person that usually does them.

So how will I be celebrating this weary, dull day? Well it won't be so dull because Paula and I both have different responsibilities around the house, so we're doing the ole' switcharoo. I'll take care of her several 7-9 cats (not really sure how many) while she takes care of the dog. She'll cook the supper as long as I clean the dishes. I'll do the laundry as long as she clips the hedges. And I'll even polish our jewelry as long as she cleans the weaponry. She'll have her work cut out for her, though, with the 34 different firearms and 63 knives, hatchets and cleavers I have. It'll be enough to keep her busy while I'm taking care the damn cats. At least she could take care of the dog while she's doing her chores, sheesh. And that's entertainment for today in the ole' 570.

By: Peter Gilroy

By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

God puts his faithful people back on earth. The moon changes from jet black to white, and the sky renders back to it's fresh water blue from red. The ground, covered in bowels, retch and viscera, finally vanishes and sinks into the depths of Sheol and the hell that can subsist underneath. The hell and anguish everyone was feeling finally came to one conclusion at this point... It's spring everyone!! Let's dance!!!!!

By: Kimberly Dunn | @NessKids

It may only be Wednesday night, but that doesn't mean it isn't a hot time of the week for that first hot date. Also, the first day for spring might have been March twenty-something, but today was officially one of the first nice days that we got to see the sun and feel the actual spring-like weather. So hump day plus beautiful weather equals take me out for sushi and sex on the beach. Oh, I'll have a drink with that too.

You may be wondering how to dress up for today with the new season and all, so you might want to find a shade of lipstick that brings out the spring in you. Go with maybe a light red shade or maybe even a darker pink color, not too overwhelming though. We're trying to stay kind of cool, it's not 90 degrees out there yet.

Next, find a dress that would bring out your makeup and eyeliner. Maybe a one piece and a sexy white pantie that can almost be seen through but not quite. Don't forget the jacket though because it could get super cold tonight. You wouldn't want anything else see-through *wink*.

Nail polish is always an exciting way to express how you feel, and today you want to make that first date to know that you're confident. There's nothing more sexy than a girl with confidence, and nothing shows confidence in a girl more than happiness. So to show happiness, you can use the usual color orange, or you can go wild. Orange is always my gopher, but on a day like today, I'm going all out rainbow. Do whatever fits you, or what you're most confident with. This is 570 fashion and it's been Dunn.

By: Kimberly Dunn