By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

21-year old Jasmine Tridevil has been the highlight of the news and tabloids today. The three breasted massage therapist states that she got her third breast for a reality television stunt for which we will probably see within the next year or so.

By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

Today is the big day for the big release of Apple's new product iPhone 6. For those of you who may not know what an iPhone is, it's the obvious number one mobile device in the market. Any other cell phone is just complete total absolute garbage.

By: Chase McDougalburg | @NessKids

Yesterday marks the date for the debut of Katie Couric's clone human no. MV3970332 (aka Meredith Vieira) to start her brand new show. Katie Couric was the once holder of the daily spot on network television for her show called "Katie". The show was described as lighthearted, funny and even emotional at times. Though the show was well produced and had decent ratings, Katie and her producers had some different views of how the show should have been ran, ultimately causing too much conflict for it to go on.

After television producers knew "Katie" wouldn't go on for a 3rd season, they decided to bring in the big guns and hired a team of scientists to make an exact clone of our beloved Katie to host a show just like the last. "Her code name is Meredith", one of the scientists said. "She is the exact same as Katie in every way, but more powerful and unargumentative. She's funnier, more heartfelt and she can even do comedy sketches. Adding the family to her life and brainwashing people into thinking they already know her is the icing on the cake."

To watch "Meredith", check your local listings.

By: Chase McDougalberg

By: Chase McDougalberg | @NessKids

In breaking celebrity news, our beloved Joan Rivers has passed away at the inevident age of 81. Joan Rivers was known to be a funny woman who got plastic surgery to look younger who got plastic surgery. Though she has lived such a long life, no one has any idea that she has lived anywhere past 43. 

Doctors say that her last facial expression was a smile because it was their intention before her death. Dr. Benson says, "We were trying to give her the best way to say goodbye to the world."

Viewing services will happen at some point as well as funeral services. Search Google for more details.

By: Chase McDougalburg